Weebles Wobble, They Don’t Fall Down

I always thought that little song about the ability of Weebles to wobble was cute.  One of the joys of having a younger sister when I was growing up was that I had fun with toddler toys when I was a toddler and then again when I was older.  It was allowed.  And those little Weebles really couldn’t fall down.  It was all in the balance.  They could sway pretty far and lay down for a moment.  But they always bounced back up.

Last week I may have fallen down.  Never fear, I have bounced back up.  But for a time, I had fallen.  How could this happen I wondered?  All those layers of stress over the past months with work and medical issues just kept adding to the pile otherwise known as grief.  If you ever had allergies then you know what I mean.  One allergen won’t cause an attack, neither will two or three.  But you layer them all at the same time and WHAM – allergic reaction of mammoth proportions.  Apparently tons of stress building over months can collide with a grief burst and it gets messy.

I thought I was doing everything right.  Going for walks, healthy meals, resting on the weekend, etc.  It’s not enough if the stress levels get too high.  There are always signs – perhaps going through bottles of Tums and Tylenol that quickly?  I went in to see my doctor and she calmly pointed out that perhaps I should schedule a vacation.  Just a few days off.  And plan some fun things to do.  Perhaps a movie or eating out.   She wisely suggested that I have had a lot of negatives the past few years.  I need to add in some positives.   My countdown for retirement is a positive -  I always knew this job would be the death of me.  Wink.  But perhaps more is needed. 

Yesterday I met a woman who lost her husband to divorce and within a few years he passed away.   We started talking and made a connection.  We may never see each other again.  She must have sensed my situation because she asked the question.  Or perhaps it was the hand of God.   She offered some suggestions as to what she does to get out of the house and have fun.  She goes to the movies.  On a random Wednesday or the weekend.  She goes by herself.  I started laughing and said someone else had suggested the same thing a few days ago.  I told her that my husband wasn’t a big movie kind of guy so we rarely went.  But I used to love the movies on the big screen.  She shared that she doesn’t eat at restaurants alone but will eat at the bar and just order a small plate.  She sits at the end and people watches.  She was a great lady finding small joys in her life each week.  To think the conversation started because I used the word ‘plethora’.  Such a fun word.  Turns out it was her departed mother’s favorite word.   Serendipitous moments begin this way.

Last night I found a journal book in the pile contained in a basket on my desk.   The first page was a list of fun things Robert and I were going to do in retirement.  Ouch.   The next few pages were the moving list of box contents from when we were packing up the townhouse.  Ouch.  I debated whether I should tear those pages out of the book but decided to leave them for now.   I think I need to start keeping track of the fun things I’m doing.   Not what I plan to do, but what I have actually done.  I have a notebook jammed full of ideas that I started collecting after my cancer diagnosis.  The ideas themselves won’t give me balance.  So far I have: the discovery a couple weeks back of a comforter set that matches my bedroom perfectly.  And the new adventure of cooking a turkey breast in my crock- pot.   I’m spending time with my family for Easter so that gets added to the list.  Then there’s my DAR chapter and book group monthly meetings. 

Progress both great and small takes time.  More time than you expect.  And sometimes if we lack balance we will fall.   Remember to be like those Weebles.  Weebles Wobble, but they don’t fall down.  At least not for long.