Irrepressible Hope

I just watched The Great Gatsby.  I remember reading the book in college.  Great film rendition.  About the carelessness of people.  The callous carelessness.  And the irrepressible hope of one man.  Clinging to his dream.  Not able to accept that the dream had already ended long ago.  The death scene got to me.  I sobbed during the credits thinking of my lost love.

And I am now left to ponder:  what do you do with your innate irrepressible hope once the dream is gone?  How do you harness it as you move forward?  How can it be redirected into a new dream?  And how long will it take before you are able to focus on a new dream?  Will you know it when you see it?  So many questions lodged in the simple words of an author in a novel written long ago. 

I look around.  I reflect upon my life and all I’ve done.  I’ve already accomplished so many of the things I wished to in the realm of education, career and travel.  I was blessed with a grand romance and abiding love in my husband.  I’ve had interesting adventures great and small.  I’ve enjoyed the companionship of family and friends.  I have loved and been well loved in return.   I have no regrets.   I have indulged in many creative pursuits over the years.  It is an interesting place to be, this stage of life.   I have many more years behind me than before me.   The future is a blank canvas.   Yet, I have no desire to rush to fill it.  Most unusual for me.   I am content to wait upon God.  I trust that the guidance will come when the time is right.  And that the small part my life plays in the gorgeous tapestry He is creating will be as it should.

As I journey forward, I shall have to be on the lookout.  Looking for clues.  Evaluating hints.  What will the new dreams be?  A person with irrepressible hope needs something to look forward to.  My last dream standing is early retirement.  I’m sure others will come to me in time.  But for today, I so understand how Gatsby could cling to his dream against all odds.  He instinctively understood the unbearable nature of the pain its loss would bring.