I always thought that little song about the ability of Weebles
to wobble was cute. One of the
joys of having a younger sister when I was growing up was that I had fun with
toddler toys when I was a toddler and then again when I was older. It was allowed. And those little Weebles really
couldn’t fall down. It was all in
the balance. They could sway
pretty far and lay down for a moment.
But they always bounced back up.
Last week I may have fallen down. Never fear, I have bounced back up. But for a time, I had fallen. How could this happen I wondered? All those layers of stress over the
past months with work and medical issues just kept adding to the pile otherwise
known as grief. If you ever had
allergies then you know what I mean.
One allergen won’t cause an attack, neither will two or three. But you layer them all at the same time
and WHAM – allergic reaction of mammoth proportions. Apparently tons of stress building over months can collide
with a grief burst and it gets messy.
I thought I was doing everything right. Going for walks, healthy meals, resting
on the weekend, etc. It’s not
enough if the stress levels get too high.
There are always signs – perhaps going through bottles of Tums and
Tylenol that quickly? I went in to
see my doctor and she calmly pointed out that perhaps I should schedule a
vacation. Just a few days
off. And plan some fun things to
do. Perhaps a movie or eating
out. She wisely suggested
that I have had a lot of negatives the past few years. I need to add in some positives. My countdown for retirement is a
positive - I always knew this job
would be the death of me.
Wink. But perhaps more is
needed.
Yesterday I met a woman who lost her husband to divorce and
within a few years he passed away.
We started talking and made a connection. We may never see each other again. She must have sensed my situation because she asked the
question. Or perhaps it was the
hand of God. She offered
some suggestions as to what she does to get out of the house and have fun. She goes to the movies. On a random Wednesday or the
weekend. She goes by herself. I started laughing and said someone
else had suggested the same thing a few days ago. I told her that my husband wasn’t a big movie kind of guy so
we rarely went. But I used to love
the movies on the big screen. She
shared that she doesn’t eat at restaurants alone but will eat at the bar and
just order a small plate. She sits
at the end and people watches. She
was a great lady finding small joys in her life each week. To think the conversation started because
I used the word ‘plethora’. Such a
fun word. Turns out it was her
departed mother’s favorite word.
Serendipitous moments begin this way.
Last night I found a journal book in the pile contained in a
basket on my desk. The first
page was a list of fun things Robert and I were going to do in retirement. Ouch. The next few pages were the moving list of box
contents from when we were packing up the townhouse. Ouch. I debated
whether I should tear those pages out of the book but decided to leave them for
now. I think I need to start
keeping track of the fun things I’m doing. Not what I plan to do, but what I have actually
done. I have a notebook jammed
full of ideas that I started collecting after my cancer diagnosis. The ideas themselves won’t give me
balance. So far I have: the
discovery a couple weeks back of a comforter set that matches my bedroom
perfectly. And the new adventure
of cooking a turkey breast in my crock- pot. I’m spending time with my family for Easter so that
gets added to the list. Then there’s
my DAR chapter and book group monthly meetings.
Progress both great and small takes time. More time than you expect. And sometimes if we lack balance we
will fall. Remember to be
like those Weebles. Weebles
Wobble, but they don’t fall down.
At least not for long.
