Mr. MacDonald seemed so old when I was a young fourteen just
starting high school. But as I reflect back, I realize that he was probably the
age I am now. He taught my freshman English class and he loved poetry. The first poem we studied was:
“The old dog barked backwards without
getting up, I can remember when he was a pup.
He spent so much time on that little poem. I think it was two solid lesson days
spent on dissecting it and discussing its hidden meanings. It made such an impact that of
the many fascinating things I learned in my high school years this little poem
remains in my memory.
I’ve been feeling a bit like that old dog lately. I’ve spent much time this summer
healing my injuries from the car accident and healing requires stillness. The longer the healing process took,
the more I realized that the stillness has been good for my healing heart as
well.
Perhaps all the times this past year or so when God told me ‘no’
when I signed up for some activity it was with good reason. The number of times plans just didn’t
work out for various reasons cannot be coincidental. And the fun
outings I did have were all the more special – with family and friends and each
memorable in its own way.
I suspect that God knew I needed some stillness in my life to help my healing
heart.
I remember when I saw my oncologist a few months after Robert
passed away. She said it had
been obvious to her how deeply we loved each other. I shared with her that another acquaintance had mentioned
how much she admired the care and
kindness with which we treated each other. My doctor smiled sadly and said that the one problem
with finding your soul mate is how much it hurts to lose them.
If I had known this simple fact of loss earlier in life, would
it have deterred me from finding my soul mate? I think not.
I’ve always felt that living life with an open heart is so much more
pleasant than a closed one. Sure –
you feel pain that others do not- but your joy is great.
