I used to have expectations. Some were underlying assumptions of what life would be or
how people would behave. Some were
more demanding expectations of how people would interact with me. The last few years have taught me to
let go of expectations.
Some of my past great expectations were that although I’d
experienced numerous quirky health issues I wouldn’t face anything really scary
like cancer. I just knew that I
would retire in a few years and my husband and I would spend many contented
years together in retirement.
After all, my husband was so healthy there was just no way something
like cancer would dare attack his body.
After having been proved wrong in these greater areas I have
come to examine the smaller day-to-day expectations. We all have them.
We expect someone to call us or say something that is not said. We quietly expect people in our lives
to behave certain ways all the time.
As a widow you find yourself in the unusual situation where truly people
can’t do or say the ‘right’ thing for you. Your emotions are on a roller coaster and most of the people
in your life simply can’t understand the ride. They will try and they will fail. Sometimes they will get it right. It is far better to seek acceptance. My husband used to say: ‘it is what it is.’
My suggestion is that we have much more modest expectations of
the people around us and ourselves.
I by no means suggest that we live quiet lives of desperation. I rely on the graces of God to provide
for me. I live in hope. I just no longer get concerned if a
person doesn’t call me. I can
always reach out to them. And if
someone says the wrong thing, I forgive unintended hurts more readily. I realize that other people are
struggling with their own failed great expectations. And I always remember to be gentle with myself. I am on a constantly changing journey
in this life. I don’t know what
the future will hold but I trust it will be good. Yet I know that I won’t have the long-term energy to be
joyful unless I carry modest expectations.
1 comment:
So true. I remember the best advice I ever received before I married Paul was to watch my expectations of him. I didn't get it at the time, but as the years went on, I've understood more and more how expectations can be a hung downfall in my life. Such encouraging words, thank you for sharing.
JoAnn
http://wgcreates.com/josjourney
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